when the unconcious peeks in the concious

when the unconcious peeks in the concious
Glimpses into eternity

Thursday, 4 September 2014

The Book List

Photo Source: elgarblog.files.wordpress.com



Books are my first love. Books are my first friends, my best friends for life. My only hope in distress. My anti depressant. People often joked that I could even find a telephone directory interesting. Recently Shruthi Raghunandan nominated for a similar challenge in FB and one of the friends whom I nominated obliged by saying if you have the list of only ten books read more books :P.

So, going forward I am a person with a big heart. I fall in love very easily. I fall for people fast and I fall for a book real fast. So, all the books I have read are my favourite. But here I manage to have those books where I felt I am just into the story. I spent days and nights with them, seeing them. Living with them in their home. Advicing them, being real worried for them. The books which became me and the I became the books. Books which were there while I was growing up. Books which were there to show a newly wed bride how to deal with this new role. Books that I have laughed with cried with, fell in love with, went on a date with, and slept with. Starting from The Chacha Chowdhury to The Mahabharata to Lajja to The Illiad to The Paradise lost to The Mayor of Casterbridge to The Da Vinci Code to The Immortals of Meluha, I have books all the way. My dream in life amongst many is to own a library of my own.

So without much ado about the rest here is my list.


1. The Ruskin Bond Children Omnibus: This book is my Holiday read. I first laid my hands on it when I was ten and I began reading it after C.R, Rajagopalachari's Mahabharata. In a lazy summer afternoon I fell in love with Rusty and swung around with The Blue Umbrella all the while motivating Ranji and helping kids to steal guava or to set up a zoo. It is my piece of sunshine. Till now I start my reading session with a peek into this book. The streets of Dehra, the Tunnel, The apple train are my haunts.

2. Poor People: Fydor Dostoevsky. This name still rings a melancholy tone. I had snuck out a book containing many famous works of Dostovyskey from my Late Grandfather's book shelf, hid in my backpack and brought it 1500 km to read it and my book affair with Russia starts from here. I have since then bought many books from Russian Authors. Almost so much that people have threatened me to pack me to Russia. This entire story is written in Epistles (Letters) between a man and a woman both of whom are poor. It will break your heart to read this. (His another novel "The White Nights" was moulded and made in to "Sawariya", the movie, I read this after finishing Poor People.)







3. Anna Karenina: If Dostoyevsky  showed the poor Tolstoy showed the aristocrats. When I began reading
this thick and lofty book I thought It will never end with all it's plot and sub plots. Anna, Lucy, Konstantine Levin will steal your heart away. You will always find a piece of you somewhere in the characters. Warning do not watch the movie without reading the book. It is a tale of Passion and Happy and Unhappy families.














4. The Scarlett Letter: Hester and Pearl and their creator Nathaniel Hawthorne. A book about adultery and doesn't even mention the word once, the incidence once. Set in Puritan America. Hester's stoicity and Pearl's playfulness will make you pass through a myriad of emotions.

5. Oedipus Rex: First tragedy of the trilogy of Thebes. Sophocles deals with the subject of incest and makes us disturbed from within. This drama gave me sleepless nights and goosebumps. This book, it's story just imprints in your mind once you read it.


6. The God of Small Things: A story of a Family and the story of History and all rules trespassed. it is the story of Ammo, of Inverted smiles,of the twins. You can never read it once. You have to come again to it.

7. Srimad Bhagwat Gita: I know the eyebrows are raised. No, I am not religious. No, I am not promoting The Religion. I had to write a paper presentation for Seminar on Poetry and "Karma Yoga" in Gita was my topic. So, I read it. I read the book published by Ramkrishna Mission. I read it as a work of Literature and Philosophy. My learning be Focused, be Patient. My recommendation go beyond religion and prejudice and give it a try.
 
8. The Wuthering Heights: If God has granted someone enough ink to pen just one novel then look up to Emily Bronte regarding how to do it right. Heathcliff and Catherine and their all consuming passion. They live with you and with in you long after you read that last page. 

9. The Train To Pakistan: Kushwant Singh at his best. I read the book as a 11 year old and those who have read it i am sure will be surprised. But I grew up as I turned it's last page. i finished the book in three days. Iqbal is some one you will love to hate at first then hate to love and then you will cry for him. The book shows the time when humanity was partitioned and bleeding.

10. Metamorphosis: The troubled Genius Franz Kafka was! Gregory wakes up from a Disturbed Dream and finds that.....he is a cockroach. Yes, you read it right. The novel just shakes your soul. I fell in Love with Kafka because of this and the love is still going strong,

This is a small Glimpses of my lovers/the books I would die for. do drop in your favourites too.

Inspired By Indispire:

Submit a list of your 10 favourite books with reasons why they made it to your list. Let us try to complete a circle and complie a list of books we yet have to pick. #loveofreading


Posted by Jyoti Chettri under Books
17 votes

Sunday, 31 August 2014

Canvas Kolkata-Kumartooli The Durga Puja Preparations - 1

 As The Mother Eagerly awaits at the gates of Kailash
To descend to the Earth, once her abode......
As Lord Shiva looks at his wife longingly....
Nine Days of parting is a shade too long....

 Her sons and daughters fervently engage in creating divinity out of clay

The monsoon almost over....
A clear sky is all that they pray..

 God creates Humans and Humans create a frame for God...


The daughter of  This Earth

Is The Strength to the Supreme one....






Maa Asche......Mother is Coming


Thursday, 28 August 2014

The Sky it Was-Thursday Challenge

The Golden Moment

Far away Land

To the Paradise

Homeward Bound

Kolkata Sky in its different shades

This is a part of Thursday Challenge initiated by www.spunwithtears.com for more photographs around the world please do click here
This Thursday's Theme:Sky

Sunday, 24 August 2014

The Beginnings





.........And I missed my train.

I sat on my hunches, panting hard grasping every breath as if it were my last. My heart kept on jumping in my rib cage as if it just wants to be set free, maybe it wanted to be freed of the body it was hopelessly pumping life in.

I closed my eyes and still the pain won't go off. I tried to get up and somehow dragged my body to the bench and sat somehow clinging my bag, the only luggage I had. I looked up at the concrete roof of the station and the sickly ceiling fan and smiled. I never missed a train actually and it was my first.

"Hello, missed the train?"

I sat up startled and looked at a smiling face. A pretty good looking face at that. Missing train may have it's own perks I believe.

"Yes." I said
"Well I saw you running towards it and I was in it."
"Were you sleeping that it took you so long to get down at the station?"
"No, I got in the train from this station, I saw you missing your train and I got down."
"Why?"
"Because I felt like it."
"Why?" 
"The next train leaves at 10 o'clock in the night. We have 4 hours plus the train ride in our hands."
"So, what do we do?"
"Live the moment when we are still together."
"I don't know let us roam around the city." I smiled something in me told me that this is going to last.

Even if it doesn't last I wouldn't lose out on the moment where I can be in the road of falling in love with each other. Falling in love and the rush of this moment was so amazing that you could live your entire life in misery out of it. I was the one who lived in moments and this moment or the next moments were mine and I will certainly Live, Love and Laugh in them.

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.


Thursday, 21 August 2014

Sky on Fire

sunset

My Sky is on Fire
The earth is not my abode
Hither I wonder
Remember I am the Vulcan
Thrown out of heaven
Still too proud for the earth.








Friday, 15 August 2014

On Empathy

When I first stepped as a nervous newbie in that school little did I know how far will helping others take me. My first day in a new school and a new city was horrible. I joined mid session in the month of  September. On the first day as I entered the class all the kids were playing as the assembly bell was yet to ring. I was all of nine and half years studying in 5th Standard. After assembly I was introduced formally and was made to sit in a bench in the last rows because of my height.

The first day was:

Me smiling a friendly smile at all.

All frowning back at me.

This went on for a month till the mid terms I used to sit in a corner and quietly do my work. The Mid Term elevated my status from a "New comer Nobody" to "One of the Toppers Somebody". Atleast people didn't frown the just returned my smile with a blank stare.

Then that day came: One of the classmates accidentally dropped his tiffin and I quietly forwarded my tiffin and said him to have it. He had his fill and I was a bit empty stomach but it felt good when he smiled looking at me and said "Thank You". This is what I wanted for so log a selfless smile at me.

It slowly became a pattern in the class. If a student got stuck in a particular chapter I explained it. If a person had a problem in Drawing I helped her. I was my Class' "Help and Advice Centre".

On a lighter not being benevolent was my USP. I was not an interesting company nor I was a beautiful company. So, what won me friends was my benevolence and empathy. 

My mother said that they were just using me and I was investing my time on them for nothing but I was using their smiles to bring me joy.

That was when being benevolent helped me to become a better human. I learnt to be more empathic towards people.

True I don't give alms to beggars because I believe in empathy and not in sympathy. My logic is till there is life in you be the light in you.

I have seen a blind man selling incense stick in front of the Railway Station. I buy them even though I don't use them. The reason: I am respecting his choice of not bowing to easier means of work.  

Swami Vivekananda once said - If you give a fish to a hungry man you fulfill his hunger for a single day but if you teach the man how to fish you solve his hunger for a lifetime.

Benevolence for me is understanding a person's problem and work together towards solving the problem in such a way that the problem never comes again and even if it comes we have the solution in hand or are ready to face it efficiently.

If I help a person, I address the process and not the output. For eg: If a person comes and says me to write an application for him or her in English because he cannot frame words properly I will guide him to frame the sentences and give him a basic understanding of sentence formation. It will take much more time compared to the process where I simply write the letter but in the long run it will be much more fruitful.

Kindness and empathy are two things which can never have a transactional value in terms of material. The only thing you expect out of being kind is the smile of the person whom you help.



Monday, 28 July 2014

OF JUVENILES

As I walked along the stadium boundary, I increased my speed many folds.No, not because I was followed but because it was a natural impulse. All of fifteen yet eight years in the constant shadow of eve teasing, groping, molestation makes you instinctive and alert like a deer in the forest.

All of a sudden I hear a voice, "tssk tssk" I speed up frantically and in moments, a boy hardly of 16 or 17 comes in grabs my hand and says "Come with me."

"No!" I shout back and try to bite him. He slaps me but I somehow manage to free myself but he grabs me from the back

"Kick them hard on the balls." 

I remembered what my father said to me but he is facing my back so, how can I. I struggle vehemently making sure I don't shout because I knew shouting may turn this into a group thing and a lone person is easier to fight than the group.

As I struggled my life flashed past me. "The Topper Me", "The House Vice Captain Me","The Good Daughter Me", "The Responsible Elder Sister Me.", "The Writer Me.", "The Ambitious Me.", "The Hopelessly Romantic Me." all flashed past me and I thought all will end. Was my life all these to come to an end like this? Am I nothing but a stranger's object of perverted lust? Will my first touch by the opposite sex be that of a horror?. Funnily I didn't know how intercourse is but I knew Rape was something which can even kill you.

As I was counting my breathes thinking it to be my last few I thought that let him turn me and then I will kick him but then he left me and I saw that the reason for his sudden kindness was a car that passed by, I ran hard and reached to a place where there were people and soon faced another eve teasing.

I confided in my best friend who was a girl as I could not disclose it to my parents as they had hands full with their own problem. What she did was amazing. She spread it across like a wild fire. i was taunted and teased in hushed voices just because I was a quiet child my emotions were not counted in.

It made me very angry.

A few days later while traveling by a Tempo (Ford Tempo in Public Transport Form) I was groped as usual by someone aged 20 to 22. I kept quiet and tried to angle myself to safety. All of a sudden a boy from the tution of my age riding a bike (in small towns legal age of driving a bike is not an issue) offered me a lift and i gladly took it. On sitting on his bike the first thought struck me was, "Oh My God! What have i done?" this boy had a crush on me and used to gaze me all day long in the classes. I became petrified remembering the incident a few days back. The way I was treated and the insults afterwards had shattered my confidence. it had robbed me of my childhood and adolescence. All the while he was talking sweet nothings and was having a time of his life (We didn't had social networking so, the adolescent love had its innocence) and i was having a harrowing time with in me that he would.....

But he didn't. He left me to my destination and the next time we talked properly was ten years after.

My anger subsided after this.

I noted a few things:
1. The person who assaulted me was from the unprivileged section of the society: He lacked education, had to see the harsher part of the life and was aggressive and brutal. He was so, used to be treated like an animal that he became an animal. If he is a criminal in the making whose fault is it? His or the society? The Government? who runs on Vote bank and educating him is a tough process so, create flashy schemes to lure them.

2. The people who mocked me came from good families.The school where I studied was one of the top schools in the city. It has produced bright professionals. But why did they lack empathy? Is it their fault or the fault of the education they received? Do we need to make our children a better humans first and then successful people?

3. I hid the fact. My thought process was its a big stigma, I might be framed as someone with lose morals. My self confidence hit the lowest abyss. As parents are we giving our daughters the confidence they need to have in us? We educate our children so that we have faith in them but do they have faith in us?

4. The bike boy: Well, he was someone who was a Juvenile technically and mentally. Compare him with the Stadium boy. He was more privileged, more educated, rightly educated than the Stadium Boy.This brought in a change in mentality.

I am not talking about what is to be done with the Juveniles who commit heinous crimes. My objective here is to raise some points that how these can be avoided because on the day of the incident

I thought If I had died will hanging the boy bring me back to life? 
No. It will be justice delivered.

Will it stop all the crimes of the same fashion? 
No, People will commit crimes.

Why?
Because CRIME HAS BECOME AN ATTITUDE.

So, how to uproot this permanently?
 Evolve into a better informed and empathetic society.

How much time will it take? 
Many years.

Which government will do that?
We will do that because Government is BY THE PEOPLE, OF THE PEOPLE, FOR THE PEOPLE
So, we are the only power who will stay forever the rest will come and go in five years.

It's our Country, Our People, Our Children.

Weather the victims and criminals both are our children. So, its our responsibility to correct them before their souls are lost. Weather a murderer or the victim both the souls are lost forever.

DISCLAIMER: ALL THE CHARACTERS IN THE STORY ARE JUVENILES AND ANY RESEMBLANCE TO ANY PERSON NEAR BY YOU IS TO BE ADDRESSED BY YOU AND ONLY YOU.

 

Thursday, 17 July 2014

In the Midst of All Chapter 5 Part One The Ticket.

The door bell rang, bringing Vaidehi out of her noon siesta. It was winters and she dozed off while reading a newspaper in the balcony. She first thought that it was Siddhartha. He had went to the Market to run some Holiday errands with their son.

She stood up slowly, her spinal chord a bit stiff. It was like that since the birth of her youngest son but the pain was bearable if one thought of what would have happened that day. God was merciful on them. Everything went of well twelve years back and she believed everything will go well from then onwards. Her belief was firm and unshaken. Any disturbance in the way life is today will spell doom for her. She was happy now. She was contended. She wanted to be that way. Vaidehi loved stability. She loved being sure of things even before they happened.

As she opened the door, she was surprised. She saw her daughter, Devyani, beaming from ear to ear. She looked serene, with her calm eyes, beaming smile (just like Siddhartha). Clad casually in a blue worn out jeans and casual ill fitting white shirt with a back pack on her back, Devyani, her child, her first born. Devyani's presence always assured Vaidehi that everything was all right. She was calm, stable and not like other teenagers she used to see. She always had been "The Good Child", "The Good Daughter" who had a transparent face and was as innocent as that mountain spring. Her existance assured Vaidehi every time that everything will be as good as it is now. Only if she had known the turbulence in the midst of all this calm. But it is not to be known.

"You were supposed to come a fortnight after." said Vaidehi with a motherly smile.

"Ask your husband, he told me to come." said Vaidehi with child like playfulness entering in the home.

"You have grown very naughty."

"Yes, I know." said Devyani as she placed the bag in her room.

"Now what do you want from the fridge?"

"I am hungry, Ma. Is there something to eat?"

"Wait, lunch is ready."

"All right, will have it when Dad comes. Where is Abhi?"

"Gone with your Dad."

"All right."

"Where are you coming from?"

"Agra, why are you asking?"

"Nothing, just like that. Where are you going?"

"To take a bath."

"You didn't bathe while coming here?"

"Yes, but I feel like to have it once again."

As Devyani entered for a bath she thought of Mrinal. She knew he was falling for her. His eyes told her this and this made her uncomfortable to the core. She didn't want to be loved. She just wanted to be "used and thrown" time and again till the time his words, Arghya's words dissolved in her unconscious. Till the time she felt like she had punished herself enough for her innocence. Till the time her love......

She again started to feel the heat building up under her skin. Every single pore of her skin was set on fire. She was burning. She rubbed her palms against her palm, her stomach but it burnt more. She pursed her lips in pain and tightly closed her eyes holding her pain. When all of a sudden she remembered something. A voice, she heard this morning played in her brain.

"This bag is too heavy, can I hold it for you?" said the stranger in the train who sat across her as she started walking towards the exit gate at Gwalior Railway station. He was smiling pleasantly and that made her smile back.

"No, Thanks."

"Are you sure? By the way I would love to see you tumble down with this load."

On this she laughed aloud.

She opened her eyes. The shower water was falling on her. The pain had gone. The memory of that voice somewhere soothed her.

She dried herself, dressed hurriedly and came out of the shower. Jumping and Bumping into things she took her bag, sat eagerly drawing the bag to her lap and frantically fished out for the ticket. She searched and searched but couldn't find it. She took out all her clothes one after another and finally she found the ticket, snugly sitting at the bottom of the bag. She took it, it was crumbled. She opened it in a haste and at the back of the ticket she found a number. She took her note diary and a pen and quickly copied the number, tore the ticket and let out a sigh of relief.

"I am going to call him" she said with a feeble smile.

To be continued.......

Friday, 11 July 2014

Chapter Four Part Three Inception

Waiting at that hospital bed beside the window, a thousand thoughts ran across Vaidehi's mind. Her entire life flashed pass by her. She saw herself as a small lanky girl of four running bare foot in a white cotton frock that one of her elder brothers had stitched for her, her pig tail loosening its grip with every single step, behind her was her youngest elder brother five years her senior, tall, a boy of nine was running fast. They had plucked some unripe guavas from the "Old Woman's Guava Tree". This was forbidden and doing forbidden things always gives a sense of mirth and pleasure. She saw her mother lying in her death bed, she was eight then sitting quietly in the lap of her eldest brother, twenty years her senior. Her mother recovered within a month after that but by then she had an innocence which reeked of maturity and calm. She remembered how Manu, the youngest elder brother used to fight with her for studying on that side of the lamp where there is no shadow and how their mother used to throw them out of the house and then they came together to hatch in a plan to get into the house. She remembered the time when she was eleven and Manu died and how she still dreams of him occasionally. She remembered meeting her husband, Siddharth for the first time, She remembered her school days, college days. Thoughts came randomly and vanished. She stared blankly at the window thinking all these. She lost track of the time when all of a sudden she felt a soft tug at her Saree. She saw beside her, it was her daughter, her first  born, just a few hours old but she was able to recognize her, she knew her smell, her touch. Vaidehi touched her soft head and kissed her forehead softly. She was her bundle of joy, the part of her and Siddharth. The one who completed the family that she and Siddharth started building bit by bit five years ago. She was sleeping silently now and her peace gave her peace, "You are my peace, never be turbulent or I might break." said Vaidehi touching her soft hands.

Vaidehi looked at the wall clock it was almost nine o'clock in the morning. Siddjarth had visited her the night before and had saw her in a bit of pain. He promised her to come by six in the next morning and he is never late. She was a little worried and a little disturbed at this unwarranted late. She was continuously looking through the window which overlooked the window to see as if he is coming or not but all in vain. It was nine thirty by now and she was getting a bit more disturbed. When all of a sudden Siddharth marched into the room with a beaming smile and tear filled eyes. All of Vaidehi's anger evaporated.

"I am sorry...... I am late.....I know you....you have been waiting but....... Mother won't let me go without breakfast. I was rushing.....the doctor.....told me.....told me.....that...." He said panting at first then words escaped him as he saw her, his child, his daughter, his pride, she looked like a small fairy...sparkling eyes, prominent nose, a bit longer than the average new borns, all cozy in the white warm blanket.

He lifted her and cradled her in her arms, tear started flowing from his eyes copiously as he looked from her to Vaidehi.

"Dev..."
"I know Devyani....the name you always thought of." said  Vaidehi as Siddharth could no longer speak.

They had many discussions about it even before Vaidehi's pregnancy.

"The chariot of Gods, Devyani. Divinity, strength, direction all together you see Devyani we will have a perfect daughter." Siddharth used to say often.

"And what if we have a boy, think of some name for him too, in case....you never know." said Vaidehi lightly

"No, It won't be."

And now, she was there in his lap looking at him with wonder, trying to imprint this face into her memory...her first glimpses of humanity, these two faces were her only evidence of a human face, her initial imprint on her blank slate of a memory..........

It was fine for them as of now and calm they were at peace as of now and so Devyani slept in her father's arm feeling secured, as of now, the dice of destiny had rolled and it would have rolled further but till then Devyani slept peacfully and Vaidehi had found her peace in Devyani.

To be Continued....

Monday, 9 June 2014

Chapter Four, Part Two, Numb

"Now I stand here, in this empty room all surrounded by mirrors, Mirrors of silver haze, mirrors of perpetual purity, I stand  here unclothed, hidden by black curtains, curtains, jet black hiding all secrets from the constant gaze of mirror, I am crying but tears don't come up, my tears are dried up and cries are all hollow, I shout but voice has left my vocal chords, I see someone chasing me, a predator, he is cunning full of stealth and raw cruel intentions, he predates on the souls, tears the flesh and  crumbles the bones to fish out the soul, bleeds you dry only to use your blood in a vibrant painting of mirth, I run all of a sudden clothed in red, I run through narrow lanes, I run fast and catch every breath I run hard and I don't look back as I am afraid his hypnotic calm eyes may seduce me to relish my own death, I don't want to die, not like this and I run, I stumble on a stone and I fall and I see a hand, his hand with a broad silver armlet getting hold of my right feet and drag me and I fall...."

The train screeches to a halt and I am glad that I didn't fall, I had slipped into a slumber and it was just a recurring dream, a dream I remember I had always seen since the time I could remember, may be I am too ambitious or competitive and hating losing, failing or falling, or may be the Mystery Man, The predator is someone from my past life, wow! interesting fantasies I have got, may be he was the one who was my life once and had betrayed my trust to become my death, maybe he was some tribal prince and I was his fiance and had been adulterous........

"Is the seat taken?"
I look at this man a bit pissed off, come on you don't break someone's day dreaming like that.
"Is the seat taken, Madam?" he asks again, this time more politely.
"No, its not." I say a bit sternly and look out of the window.
The man sits there quietly smiling all the while.

I stared at the window as I was not interested in any further conversation, for now I just wanted to be with me, just me.
I remembered many things I usually do this while I am silent I revise the episodes of my life quickly, I now remember last year December, I felt so dirty I felt so vile and uncouth, I was walking towards my home and my mother was standing at the balcony, she smiled and said "Welcome Home Dear, Hope you didn't have the heavy back pack troubling you? You look a bit tired, are you all right?"
I look up and say "I am all right" and open the gate to enter the home but me and my soul knew that I was far from being all right, I was feeling so, dirty that I could hardly look up in my mother's eyes, I entered into my home rushed to my room, and without saying a word jumped into the bathroom, I undressed myself and stood below the shower, tears started flowing copiously from my eyes, I held my mouth tightly with my palm lest my Mother  might hear me crying, blood drops flowed with water, clinging my thighs going down reaching my knees, traveling my shin and touching my feet to reach the bathroom floor out of the drain, I smiled, my "purity", my "chastity" flowing down the drain. I was treated like a dirt, this was a date from the hell, he  relished in taking away that thing which had hurt me the most, my innocence. I cringed when I remembered his face, his perverted mirth on taking away my.....and his licking of his fingers....I slumped to the ground placing my arms around my legs, placing my head between the knees, I cried and I cried hard, I rubbed my hands on my arm to let go of the feel of his touch I rubbed hard till they went all red and hurt me but it didn't go away. I sat their blankly staring the bathroom wall and all of a sudden something snapped inside me, I was in a continuous pain for so long, it was like someone is whipping you constantly and it hurts makes you bleed from the skin, from the flesh and then there comes a moment all of a sudden when you do not mind the pain' you feel it but get used to it, after some time you sense their is no respite from this ache so you relish the pain, you keep on relishing till finally it pains once more real hard and then it stops paining at all, now you are not used to  it, you don't  relish it, you don't feel it but you are indifferent to it as it doesn't exist and your life moves on as it should be.

My mother knocks at the washroom door, "What's taking you so long? it's winters you will catch cold."
two minutes later I open the door with a smile, "Sorry Mom."

"Will you be getting down at Gwalior?"
"Yes." this time I smile.
"Come in front of me."
I stand and do so, I understood his intentions were to save me from possible rowdies and mischief mongers who were ogling at me continuously and that's the reason he fathomed I was looking no where but at the window.....

To be Continued...

For Earlier Happenings Visit

Chapter 4 Part One

Wednesday, 28 May 2014

Canvas Kolkata and Beyond: Bishnupur

 
Bored in the city? nowhere to go? Digha is a second home as you have been there innumerable times, the city lights are deluding you? 

Been in the city for the first time want to see and brag about friends about something they don't know about the state?

In both the cases here is your saviour, here is your option: Bishnupur, situated 150 km. off Kolkata in the Bankura District the small town of Bishnupur has for you a modestly good offering of terracotta temples and all those die hard Temple means Khajuraho fans yes it is not as spectacular as Khajuraho but it's sure worth a watch.
 Transportation: What started as a statement "I am so bored we don't even go anywhere" from my end while having morning tea at 9:00 am one lazy Saturday morning landed us (me and my husband) in the Esplanade Bus Stop Of Kolkata scouting for buses, statutory warning the government buses leave early in the morning but then we got a private local bus leaving at 11:50 am the tickets were charged rs. 90 per head, this was supposed to be a cattle class bus that many sophisticated people might frown upon but had a fair amount of students, families traveling. it was nice seeing the people  from all the strata of the society mingling together, all were having a good time, students going to their homes, families for a vacation, the farmers and the artisans were happy that their goods got the price they hoped for and I, well, I was just happy traveling. The bus started well picking people all the way and creating a good crowded affair of it, it almost stopped everywhere people showed their hands, it took a route via Dankuni-Arambagh-Jairambati-Kamarpukur route. We reached at around 5:30 to 6 pm in the evening and guess by that time the town had nothing to offer us so we camped for the night in a near by lodge beside the Bus Stand, The lodge was named Meghmallar, and a room cost us Rs. 250 and now do not expect it to a very grand accommodation it was just enough to spend the night somehow, statutory warning: people with OCD need not stay there as you might land up in a coma but people like me who love to be on the move have stayed in hostels and lodges love street food more than five star restaurant food its cheap and reasonable.
 We woke up at 6:00 am sharp next morning, it was still winters (January end) we went for a walk, the town is nice it has a sense of calm to it, people are laid back and I remembered my childhood in a town of Chattisgarh. We came back and checked out of the lodge sharp at eight o'clock. We had a small backpack as a luggage so, it wasn't a botherance. We hired a Cycle Rickshaw which charged us rs. 250 for three hours. The town is small and it is the best way to travel as the rickshaw drivers double up as a local tourist guide.
 
The temples are all terracotta, with fine craftsmanship on their walls, the panels depict tales from The Ramayana, The Mahabharata and folklore.the upper panels depict this stories whereas the panels at the base generally have animal figurines.

 The Terracotta Temples originally had beautiful white coatings made of burnt white clay which was polished but time and lack of maintenance has eroded that.



 Shyamrai Temple or Pancha Ratna Temple of Shyam Rai - Built in 1643 by King Raghunath Singha. The walls are richly decorated with terracotta carvings featuring aspects of Lord Krishna’s life. It is one of the largest temples.
  • Radhalalji

Jorbangla Temple of Keshta Rai - Built by King Raghunath Singha Dev II in the 17th century. The ornate terracotta carvings are set off by the roof in the classic chala style of Bengal architecture.




  • Madanmohan Temple- King Durjana Singh Deva built the temple in 1694 AD in the ekaratna style, a square flat-roofed building with carved cornices, surmounted by a pinnacle. Impressive carvings on the walls depict scenes from the Ramayana, Mahabharata and the Puranas. 


Rasmancha - Oldest brick structure. Built in 1587 by Bir Hambir is a pyramidal structure in the centre of the town, where the deities from the other temples are brought in a procession on the occasion of the Rasa Festival. There are some cannons of the Malla kings in the area. 

The temples are ticketed, group tickets are available at Rash Mancha, so, its better to start from there.

Pathar darja
Pathar Darja
 The entire trip took us three and half hours to four hours and we boarded a bus from Bishnupur Bus Stand To Kolkata which dropped us in Kolkata at about 5:30 PM tickets were Rs. 70 per head as it was a government bus.

The Other Places which are not in the photographs:
  • Nandalal Temple
  • Radhamadhab Temple
  • Kalachand Temple
  • Radhagovinda Temple
  • Sarbamangala
  • Krishna-Balaram Temple
  • Mrinmoyee Temple 
  • Malleswar
  • Sanreswar
  • Radhalaljiu Temple
  • Madangopal Temple
  • Chhinnamasta Temple
  • Jugol Kishore Temple
  • Mahapravu Temple
  • Radhashyam Temple
  • Lalbandh
  • Gumgarh - the place of no return.
  • Pathar Darja (Main Gateway of Bishnupur)
  • Garh Darja (Small Gateway of Bishnupur)
  • Stone Chariot
  • Nutan Mahal
  • The memorial of Shreenibas Acharya
  •  The Temple Of Durga
  • The Temple of Chinna Masta.




Saturday, 24 May 2014

In the Midst of all Chapter4 Part : one Dreams of Past

"The parrot green saree" thought Vaidehi with a sigh, her B.Ed project was lying on the bed, "This is the last time I am going through all this, I can't do this any further. I will be a celibate for my whole life, it's a better option than this." two years of continuous visits from the prospect match for a husband does that you. Vaidehi had not slept for the entire night she was up and preparing the B.Ed assignment which was lying on the bed, she had gone for the submission today morning only to find the college locked down indefinitely due to a student's union strike, she was disappointed and to add to the further turmoils in a day her mother announced that "the engineer" was coming... the year was 1980 not many were engineers and those who were.... well they were out of reach because of the high dowry they demanded "I don't know what the fuss is all about I am a double graduate myself." Thought Vaidehi as she picked up the kohl but left it. " let it be the way it is, no pretenses today" but then those dark deep calm big eyes didn't need any embellishment, she was bronze complexioned, had long slender arms and long beautiful fingers, the saree wrapped around her casually but elegantly around her slender frame defined her internal calm, the tranquility of her soul. She tied her hair into a loose braid and tied the ends as her hair would free themselves of any shackles and would come to their natural state of a dark bewitching entity, which had enough mystery and enigma to bring her calm soul into a equilibrium where calm and turbulence meet, fall in love and coexist. "Vaidehi! They have come!" announced her sister-in-law with genuine excitement, she loved Vaidehi like her own sister and had clear direction in her mind about her studies, marriage, children, family and she was seeing her dream for her achieving fruition and for Vaidehi living others dream has been the norm, no she didn't mind, no, she didn't enjoy nor did she sulk for her it was a duty she was meant to perform, so, she did it, tying her hair, tying her turbulence.

As she entered the room her eyes fell on a young man of twenty eight or twenty nine, the first thing she noticed were his deep set eyes, intense, ever searching, ever questioning, ever rebelling, they spoke on behalf of his soul which had a child-like inquisitiveness to it, he was fair much fairer than her, of medium built, her heart sank a bit as his mother and her brother started discussing, she was feeling I'll at ease as her calm was challenged for the first time not knowing that the nervous guy who had his eyes stuck to the floor was fighting a battle of his own as if his fire had finally met with a deep river and he couldn't decide whether this river will douse his fire and leave him all ashes or will quench his thirst for that peace that he can only dream for, he smiled and thought in both ways he has found his destiny, his nemesis, the keeper of his calm and now getting lost in this whirlpool of calm was the only thing he desired. As they both sat quietly losing their own battles, happily the prospect date of their union was fixed

To be continued........

For earlier happenings visit

Chapter 3 Part: 2

Tuesday, 20 May 2014

Canvas Kolkata- Victoria Memorial

Sneak Peak

Prayers from a Tree

The lone Black Fairy

A different angle for the angel

The Sky and The Giant

Amongst Nature

All Bloomed, All Set

Victoria Memorial Romancing The Lake

The City Sky From The Victoria Memorial Gardens

Sunday, 18 May 2014

In the Midst of All Chapter Three Part Two, stay

When Devyani came out from the bath, Mrinal was awake, still lying in the bed, "You are looking fresh and beautiful. Sorry, I kept you up all night, talking what not, I didn't realize when I fell asleep, you must be thinking, 'what is this guy, how can he sleep around with random women and am I just one on the list'. I wonder while thinking all this you could actually sleep."

"Don't over think and over estimate yourself, there are many reasons for me, other than you to keep me up all night" Devyani smiled while rubbing her  hair with the towel, "And since you have got up early let's go out and fetch some breakfast as I am starving, you can come back after that and take a bath and all."

"All right let me brush and freshen up a bit while you carry on with your grooming though I would love to see the magic potion used on that but then never mind."

"There is no magic in this world."
"Well you are magical, so, are you out of this world?"
"Whoa! From where does all these nonsense comes from Mr. Mrinal Saxena?" Devyani said with a sarcasm filled smile.

"You are a bong aren't you supposed to be a bit sweeter?"


"Bitter sweet that's me. Now hurry up, I am famished."

"Just stop falling in love with her by every passing second. She is not even properly attracted towards you." Mrinal said to the mirror while brushing his teeth. Ten minutes later they were having tea and bread by the roadside that's all they could manage in the half woken winter sky of Delhi.

The entire day they roamed seeing places, Qutub Minar, Lodhi Gardens and so on and Devyani went on blabbering about the history of the place. "Let's catch a metro and catch a movie, shall we?" Mrinal managed to speak amongst the encyclopedic attack.

"Yes, sure why not. So, sorry I become a preacher sometimes."

At the metro station Mrinal boasted about the Delhi Metro infrastructure and Devyani listened intently.
"Kolkata has metro since 1984." Devyani finally spoke.
"Hey you don't even live there."
"Yes,I kind of wish to."
"Home sick?"
"No, just felt I should say that."
"Virudh" the movie that was playing, they bought two tickets, the hall was sparsely filled, they settled down, the movie was about a father fighting for the sake of his posthumous son's justice.Devyani always found family relations her weakness, she was absorbed in the movie when Mrinal held Devyani's hand softly and when Devyani looked towards Mrinal,startled he was looking at the screen contended,no,  he was not watching the movie.
Devyani was silent all the way they reached at their room after dinner and lied silently side by side. They laid awake for an hour and then suddenly Mrinal turned to his side traced his finger from Devyani's earlobe to her lower jaw bone to her chin lifted her chin and softly kissed her on the lips and then her forehead. "Stay." just one word he spoke and laid there wrapping his hands around her and inhaling in the air through her hair. Devyani laid awake, her mind reverting to the chasm of her heart.

The phone rang Devyani got up with a start. It was her Dad calling. She took the phone got up from the bed and cleared her throat and received the call."Yes, Babai  Good Morning"
"Good Morning! How is my princess today. Mom is missing you come on in."
"Sure Babai, I will be there within noon." she said hanging up and jumping into the shower she smiled thinking of her Dad it was he who was missing her and her Mom was too composed to express her feelings this openly. She got ready packed her bags and woke up Mrinal
"Yes, I know breakfast your only proper meal of the day." said Mrinal rubbing his eyes.
"No, I will grab something at the station. I am off to Gwalior, she said gesturing a flight with her hand.
"But I thought you are staying today." said Mrinal a bit shocked.
"Yes, I am sorry Dad called he wants me to be at home today."
"Is everything all right?"
"Yes, absolutely, bye, ciya."
" Hey wait I am coming."Mrinal rushed in the washroom and came out all ready in five minutes later and saw Devyani waiting. They went to the station bought a ticket and boarded the train.

"I wished you could have stayed."said Mrinal finally words left him today for no reason he could fathom.
"I never stay."

The train moved and left the station leaving Mrinal a bit vacant a bit incomplete but then it will be all right as it always is....

To be continued.......




























For earlier Happenings visit:

Chapter Three Part One

Wednesday, 14 May 2014

In the Midst of All Chapter-three, Part- One, The Proposal

"If x/y=1,  then x=y, here you go, simple now half of the cold drink is mine." said Devyani calmly with a wicked twinkle in her eyes, she was ever ready for a quick competition.

"Not fair, it was so simple and it didn't come to my mind but do I get a drop of the cold drink at least, we are a team." said Arghya earnestly and with real innocence.
"The importance of being earnest....all right you can have some." Devyani moved out of the room to declare her small victory to her cousins, their brother-in-law and cousin (sister) had come for the first time after marriage and had set a small competition of ten questions and this was the last in the series. When she came back in the room the lights went off, it was an usual load shedding. "Oh God!"

"Aren't you afraid of the dark?" asked Arghya curiously.
"No, it's real world and not a Hindi Movie scene, Let me grab a lamp....wait." Devyani came back with a lamp and sat facing Arghya, she suddenly realized she was alone in the entire floor with him, it had happened before on various occasions, they knew each other from the childhood and they were habituated to each others company, they usually met on occasions when Devyani's family visited their native place, but this time she felt a bit uncomfortable, her heart skipped a beat and she stared hard at the dark window to ward off the feeling. She  kept on staring while Arghya kept blabbering about his recent breakup.
 "I thought you had broken up last April"
"No, she dumped me two days back."
 "God! love affairs! why go for it! there areother things in world, how can you manage time after studies, sports and other activities."
 "Typical NERD."
"Typical Fool."

They remained silent feigning anger, and suddenly the lights grew dim, Devyani looked it was Arghya who dimmed the lamp,she was about to ask him the reason but he put his fingers on her lips, a chill ran down her spine, this was not her friend, his eyes were speaking a thousand words to her, these eyes wanted her, these eyes wanted to know her,to search her soul, to get into the deep recess of her heart, to tear away the mask she wore, to see her soul naked, she felt scared, scared of being known by someone for real, scared for her feelings, her secret love to get exposed, she felt vulnerable and she never felt like this before, she was perfect, a perfect daughter, a perfect student, a perfect young blood, full of energy, ambition, plans and no place for this stupid emotions and now her defenses around  this perfect fortress were surrendering without even fighting, suddenly she lost the clarity of who she was. Arghya took her hand her kissed her palm softly, she should withdraw but she didn't she sat still, frozen. he kissed her wrists and went on kissing till her elbow, he stopped to pull her near and kissed her forearm to reach her shoulder, he gently sniffed her collar bone and reached her neck kissed it gently till her chin her head tilted back and she was in a trance, the world didn't matter anymore, she didn't matter anymore, she opened her barriers, she had this sinking feeling after getting off the pool with Arghya, earlier the day but now it was gone, she felt at ease as if she had always knew that this would happen.

"Shit, I am so sorry, God! what I have done!" Arghya suddenly released her and she was still in a trance, she couldn't actually get what he was saying.

"Let me check where aunt is, she had told me to get some things to the second floor." Devyani said calmly, she came back to the normal and now her ego who taught her to be emotionless spoke.

She left, leaving Arghya, guilty, confused........

"Look I am sorry, I know I have done a horrible horrible thing, I beg of you please forgive me." Arghya pleaded teary eyed, he was pleading for the last half an hour but Devyani was stone quiet.

"Why did you do it? Devyani spoke calmly.
"Look I am sorry."
"Why did you do it?" this time the question became firmer
"Because I love you." Said Arghya

Her head spun a bit, she couldn't believe what she had heard just now, the whole of her conscious life she had somewhere, deep in her heart, unknown to herself too wished for this and it came to her, had it been any other teenager she could have jumped for hours out of joy.

"Seems like you fall in love and fall out of it real fast, it's a phase, let it settle down, this feeling will fade automatically." she put her hand on the shoulder, smiled and stood up to leave.

"Maybe you are right." said Arghya scratching his head and smiling.

"Typical Fool, didn't even realize that I have always loved you silly, for me it will never fade....completely." thought Devyani and shrugged her head.

The alarm clock ringed, Devyani stopped it, lest Mrinal might wake up, it was 6 o'clock in the morning, she hadn't slept the entire night, she removed Mrinal's hand off him and went for a bath.

To be continued.....

For Earlier Happenings Visit

Chapter 2 Part III

Monday, 12 May 2014

In The Midst of All, Chapter 2 Part Three, Friend?

They reached Delhi, It was 5 o'clock in the evening it was Friday and they would spend the Saturday and the Sunday in the city but first they needed an accommodation, Mrinal had his graduation from Delhi so, he knew the city so, they caught an auto and lodged in a guest house near  Hazrat Nizamuddin Station, it was a decent place, economical. They checked in put in their luggage had their bath and went out to eat as they were starving, they had some street food and then they roamed around like vagabonds, eating random snacks laying on the grass near India Gate. Mrinal was having a nice time, now, this was a girl who was laid back and really cool, she was fun, she loved street food, she loved roaming around doing nothing, his previous flings were all too classy, suave restaurants, classy candle light dinner and dance, expensive gifts,regular utterance of "I love you"  and what not just for a one night stand but she was different, you could just hang out with this girl no obligations, no, pretences, no odd questions, she was too real to be believed. She had this child like innocence and the prudence of an eighty year old and slowly the thought of sleeping with her had taken a back seat, he no longer cared, he just didn't want to ruin the scope of a budding relationship at any cost, he wanted a relation, friendship, love whatever it didn't matter but he wanted her to stay.

They reached their room, tired, after dinner, Devyani settled down at the sofa, tired bur contended, they ordered tea and gossiped non sense over it, Mrinal was not drunk but he was somehow high. Devyani was calm and composed.
"What a day! Now tomorrow we will visit "Qutub Minar", Lodhi Gardens".......Devyani fished out a map of Delhi and started framing a tour plan for the next day her face was animated and she went on explaining the whole plan with her hands moving continuously but Mrinal was not listening, he was just watching her lips move, her hands dance, her neck peaking from that jacket of hers, suddenly he couldn't hold the urge "fuck the rules of never making a move first." he thought and grabbed both her hands with his hands and kissed her lips, her lips were closed and he had to struggle to let his tongue in her warm beautiful mouth, no, she didn't moan. He released her hand and hugged her reaching all the way to her hair and slowly placing her hand in that seep dark abyss, he pulled her hair and that made her head move back exposing her neck he kissed it softly and all the while Devyani's hands were where he had left them, she didn't hug back, so, she wasn't shocked, she had expected this to happen.
"You won't give up easily" Mrinal said while lifting her in his lap and moving towards bed.
He undressed himself and her to and she laid still.
"You are beautiful" said Mrinal as he cupped her breasts and kissed them her skin goose bumped but she remained silent with her head tilted to her left, he kissed along the rib cage just below her breast "That is where the essence of your beauty lies" and he placed his nose to inhale her aroma and it gave him the kick he needed, he slowly kissed down to reach her abdomen and sucked in slowly, he placed his hand on her thighs and felt it all through "Shit, you are soft." He slowly tried to part her thighs bur couldn't "Don't." the only word Devyani spoke for the last half an hour. "Thank God! you finally spoke so, how can I ignore it. Let's not go any further but lie with me for the night, I will feel good." "All right" Devyani said as a matter of fact.

They lied their skin to skin whole night and Mrinal spoke about his flings, his college days, his first love, first heart break and everything he wanted to tell but couldn't tell before to anyone, Devyani listened intently as a true friend should with a smile, no, questions, no, judgments, She laid their, listening while her soul shed a tear or two....

To be Continued.....

For earlier happenings Visit:

Chapter 2, Part Two.

In the Midst of all, Chapter-two Part Two; The Breeze



"Wow! someone's looking good today." said Mrinal dismantling the backpack off Devyani's shoulder while keeping a constant eye on her frame.

"After days of seminars, assignments and sleepless nights, I am looking sood. Yes, Why not?" Devyani smiled with her usual sarcasm and rolled her eyes.

"You didn't call for an entire month and then today you call me up asking if  I am free for the weekend and ask me to pack my bags, what's all this?" Mrinal enquired while searching Devyani's brown, almond shaped, symmetrical eyes.

"Wait and watch." said Devyani closing his eyes with her palm, so, that he doesn't read her, she hated that someone should go beyond her skin. "Come on we have to go" said Devyani.
"Where to!"
"Well... let's see"
Devyani rushed in the ticket booth her shoulder length hair, bouncing catching the wind around in it's vice like grip. Mrinal placed his eyes on Devyani's receding figure, her spine was beautiful and where it ended to meet her hipbone, it created a pool, a pool of carnal desires and no matter how ill fitting her clothes were to conceal her frame, her clothes somehow clinged to her body now and then. Her bones were the best part, she was not skinny, her frame didn't allow that, her bones were strong and stood out softly but prominently at the right places, her flesh and skin were wrapped around them to contradict it's strength with their softness, she was fair but was often had a copper hue to her because she tanned a lot, her skin radiated a soft glow and was soothingly cool to touch, the moment when Devyani touched Mrinal's eyes he felt her skin for the first time, it had some intoxication of sorts. She didn't have typical Bengali dove eyes but they were a bit on the smaller side, deep set, almond shaped, symmetrical, brown and intense but calm, her nose was funnily raised as if the first thing to bump on things and her lips had that perfect bow and oozed desire without her knowing, Mrinal craved for her, her body, he just wanted to feel her but so, far he had known her, that is for the last three months and teice they had met on a casual date, she was casual, laid back and was distant, detached and he didn't hope that they will grow closer than this ever, he was charming, women fell for him, he never had to try hard, he left women wanting more he had this X factor about him but he didn't know how to handle this lady and this made him crave like crazy for her, he wanted to possess her, tame her unruly soul and most of all feel her softness against his body's heat.

"Two tickets to Delhi Please" Drvyani chirped in with her usual beaming smile that made the grumpy man at the ticket counter smile. She grabbed the ticket and the change uttered a quick and hearty "Thank you"  and rushed in, no, she didn't run, she walked and walked real fast with her "sorry" and "excuse me" as usual.
"Here you are" said Devyani handing Mrinal his ticket.
"Delhi!?"
"Yessss! Delhi....let's go."
"But Honey...a cattle class ticket?....let's get an AC reservation."
"First, bees have not made me, so, I am not honey and second it's a three and half hour run  so, who needs an AC in winters? Let's rush, the train arrives in fifteen minutes."
Devyani takes the backpack off Mrinal's grip and walks on at her usual pace turns once "You are coming?" enquires "Why not, Sure." replies Mrinal shaking his head and smiling his beautiful and tranquil smile. "Crazy breeze" he thought about her as he caught pace.

The train came in and Devyani and Mrinal boarded and fished in two window seats they put their luggage at the top rack and settled in and stayed silent.

"You are beautiful." said Mrinal.
"I Know"
"What is it that you don't know." he said moving forward a little in her direction.
"Well tell me that I don't know of  as of now."
"You know you talk to much."
"Fine, then we part our ways on reaching Delhi or do you want me to take another seat?" said devyani smiling as she got up but Mrinal held her hand "Stay." he whispered.

Devyani shuddered, she remembered another whisper, years back.

"Don't whisper" she said sitting down.
"Why?"
"Just like that."
"you won't tell, I know you won't tell."
"You know that then why are you asking?"
"Don't know, maybe just want to know."
"You needn't know me, you will get what you want without that."
"What?"
"Nothing... the view outside window is nice."
Devyani looked out of her window and closed her eyes and started feeling the wind kissing her face while Mrinal sat there, staring and a bit unsure of the lady's intentions...

To be Continued ....

For earlier happenings visit:
Chapter-2 Part-I

Friday, 9 May 2014

In the Midst of All Chapter Two Part One The Dress Rehearsal



"I am so much in love with you that I have grown numb to all the senses of emotions around me. I have with me now, a single strain of thought and some fragments of memory which always mingle into my dreams and now, when I stand here, thinking, my dreams and memories are all mixed up in some lethal concotion, which I consume to survive everyday and to die a little every day. I never wanted you to be near me as I always knew that you are synonymus to my doom but then I couldn't stop myself and I got seduced by myself to fall into this trap, the hoax of a relationship, I had with you and still so, stupidly continue to have with you  while you have broken free of the shackles that binds me still now and I make sure it grips me tightly and asphixiates me by tightening all the loose knots and thus ensuring that my escape is unthinkable and my freedom is unacceptable. It gives me a high to suffocate my soul and to tear down my mind, to inflict my flesh with the invisible but mortal wounds of your touch. Isearch my body to see a scar that you might have left on me but I find none and then I see my soul scared by you and feel at peace."

The phone finally rings on the other end and I hold my breath tightly clutching the receiver as if my life depended on it, I impatiently hear the ring almost choking, waiting for him to pick it up. The telephone operator is intently starring at me and he should stare, I mean, it's like this; I come here often sit and pick up the receiver, rehearse  and then either call or hang up, I was again rehearsing mumbling these lines to the 'imaginary him' whom my subconscious and unconscious has so perfectly built.

" Hello, who is this?" Comes a sharp and distinct voice from the other end, I gasp and all my confidence, all my rehearsals just vanishes in the thin year. I become the shaky one once again.

 "Hello, who is this? Can you hear me?" He says it for he second time and I can feel a sharp prick in the roots of my hair, my hand instinctively goes and I scratch my scalp mildly.

"Is Rekha there?" I blurt out finally and in a hurry.

"No, it's a wrong number." A long pause after which he speaks again, "I know you are there.... I told you it's over, I am seeing someone else now. Why don't you just be more sensible and pragmatic and just move on; why? First you plead almost falling at my feet, seduce me, climb over me all naked and now you stalk me; really how mature! Oh God! What's wrong with you! Look it's simple I made a false promise all right, people do this from time to time to suit their needs,so, what's the big deal! What's all the fuss about? Trisha, can't you understand.......damn." The phone disconnects.

I am happy that I finally heard his voice after such a long time and I felt a bit more alive but then I realize he didn't recognize my voice I smile bitterly laughing at my own triviality and who is Trisha?......Oh that girl....yes, right. I get up calmly and ask for a bill, pay ten rupees extra as usual and quietly leave. I pat my cheeks, hand groom my hair, look into the watch......I am already late by two minutes and I hurry out of the station strap my back pack properly, tear the platform ticket, throw it into the dustbin.

To be continued......

For earlier happenings visit:
Chapter-1 Part-III

Thursday, 17 April 2014

In The Midst of All Chapter One Part-Three Spring





 This is the fifth edition, For Previous happenings in the series






Spring

As I walk now, I see a myriad of faces, talking, laughing, bargaining, the season is ripe the winters are over and I can smell spring ushering its own way, The bazaar is as colourful as it should be, oranges, raspberries, apples and a tint of pear and peaches with strawberries in a little corner, cabbages, carrots all water sprinkled, and the chat wallah vending out the aroma of the season, It’s the season of  "Basant" over here, It’s the season of celebration, of bright hued colours of red, yellow, orange, blue and green are more colourful and vibrant than ever, their flamboyance has turned the sky golden pink, it’s the season to be happy, it’s a season to love………….to lose and to gain…………..and to wait………….wait for the moments which I know will never come but then I just want to be happy in the make belief that it will come and wait for them……………..search amongst these faces the face I have so longed to see that its now always with me…………… I am happy that I had my moments and this one thing no one can ever take away from me as they are preserved in my heart…….embedded in the deep recesses of my soul…………… I seek out faces create a collage to make out one face I seek out colours and seek out that one colour that has coloured me forever……..that has made my blood bleed in different hues but red……………..I have been a seeker and all my life I don’t seek life but moments in life…………as I don’t live a life…………I live those moments in life………again and again till they become me and I lose my existence in them………
As I float by these scenes I remember a day in summer which brought spring in my life…………short lived but it was spring…………..


(Image Courtesy Mrs. Basanti Ghosh (Maa)

15th May 2002: “You see I look at you in five ways as a friend, a mother, as an elder sister, a younger sister and………………….well my lover”

These last words sent shiver down my spine and make me go all cold in a hot summer day- here is this person who has been my friend since I was six and my every single strain of romantic emotion started and ended with him……….his name brought in pleasure to my life “Arghya”-the water which cleanses brought in my life a hope which had in it purity undefined…..his eyes took me to a state of trance where I lost myself only to meet the person I am…………………but these eyes were now looking through me piercing me deep to get into my soul and I feel touched……….blessed…………but then how can I allow him to do so………..he can’t read me he can’t know me its prohibited I can’t let this happen………….It will break my family’s heart I can’t……….but at least I can live in the moment while it still is here for me.
“Hey it’s raining!”

“I know it always rains here in Bengal” Arghya looked a bit disappointed as in my excitement I had withdrawn my hand from his soft grip.

“But it doesn’t so often from where I come from…………… are you coming out or not!”
“No ways………….”

“Ok as you wish…..your loss not mine”

Guess he was about to say something but then I couldn’t wait after all I was all of fifteen and loved rains I stumbled down the stairs and ran barefoot to the orchard straight to the pond and then cautiously climbed down the steps making sure that I don’t fall as I don’t know how to swim. I felt water touching my feet and slowly waded in the water, it was soothing and the rain came out to be more incessant. The water was waist deep and I spread my hands wide and my head facing the sky so that I can feel the raindrops caressing me...................

I was there for maybe five minutes or so with my eyes closed suddenly I felt a hand gripping my waist and whispering softly in my ears “You don’t know how to swim………..if you fall you will die and I don’t want that turn around and hold my hand I will love to take you to the far end if you have faith in me to allow me to be the master of your life for a few moment”

I turn around and see Arghya holding me with concern and seduction mingled in his eyes………..a lethal mix and I put my hands into his only to be pulled in closer and start walking……..blankly, completely surrendering my every iota of existence to him in that moment I stare at his wet brown toned body and soak in the spiritual fire of my first mental orgasm, his eyes look satisfied as for the first time they can see through my soul as I become translucent only to mingle my existence into his…………knowing all the while that my journey to nowhere starts from here…………knowing all the while it’s the beginning of the death of my innocence…………..


“God! This winter seems to be never ending” I can’t make out what Shahin is saying

“Its spring”

“Devu are you all right, Oh no! don’t go to your Blank phase, look around you it was foggy all day and it was a bit clear just for an hour”

“Oh! I see, Tomorrow I have to go to my parent’s place”

“But you went a few days back, your seminar is day after tomorrow!” Shahin was clearly irritated and couldn't gauge the reason of my frequent visits……….

This time I don’t answer her I quietly pack all that I have, in my bag and stare blankly at everything…………No, I am not going to my parent’s home………….I am going to nowhere..... to the doom......to the revival..........to avenge me...........to take a revenge on myself...........my innocence did cost a lot to me............

To be continued...................




About Me

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Started of as a brooding Introvert who wrote dark poems I thought I will die out by the time i reached my 20's but that did not happen. A loner who is in a job where we have to deal with people and I am just loving it. An infidel, a rebel to the social norm, I stood out as the perfect student, daughter, sister, wife, friend just don't know how...An awkward fashioniasta, A forced extrovert... I plan to retire early